I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
