my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
