I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
