She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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