Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
