So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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