I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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