I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
