Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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