I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dick very happy bro
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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