u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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