You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
