just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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