I wish I only lived at night.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
