I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
