they need to just BURY HIM!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
