I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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