Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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