; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
