I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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