Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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