I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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