# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
