even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
