hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
