Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need to align my fucking chakras
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
