my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
