Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
