Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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