Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
