I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
