He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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