I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
