great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
