my mouth tastes like poor choices
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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