Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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