All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
