Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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