After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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