Welp...herpes.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
