We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
