Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
