guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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