But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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