? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
