That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
