he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
