So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
