i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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