he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
