Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
