guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sex in a hospital.. check
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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