Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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